ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
