I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
