I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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