Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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