Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
