You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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