I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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