If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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