Your face is a jimmy john
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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