I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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