No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
