my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
