so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
