Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
