She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
