Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
