I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can you bring me the toilet please
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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