oh god the rape fog is back!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
