What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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