why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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