dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
