I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
