I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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