he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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