Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
