Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
