I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
