just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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