How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
