I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize
