we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
