My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
