Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
