Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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