her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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