Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize