Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We got so high we made milksteak
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
