Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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