she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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