I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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