sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
