it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
