I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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