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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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