Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
