kristin has been a bad kristin
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
