If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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