I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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