is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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