Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
