Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
