Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
